pre monday-blues rant

i feel sour in my heart. i heard that the big J family is now conducting sunday service at this place above the Gladstone cafe. They seem to be prospering. As in, everything seems to be in order. i know…you are asking why am i sour when people are doing well. am i jealous? envious? [...]

playing the waiting game again

i was looking at first post, and it brought me back to my windows live space – ‘spill-the-beans spot’ and found this post February 15 The waiting game How many of us spend days, weeks or even months to plan something but as a result, all failed (or at least did not turn out as [...]

i wonder

looking at pictures on facebook…i wonder. i wonder when did it start. when did it happen. when did the feeling arise. was it 5 years go? 3 years ago? a year ago? 6 months? 3 months? when? i wish i knew. but what good would it bring to me if i knew? will i feel [...]

happy valentine’s day

a belated valentine’s day post – doesn’t seem right to let valentine’s day pass by me without a post valentine’s day seems very much like any other day for me. wake up, work, home, sleep. nothing special at all. not even a special meal. looking back, excluding those girly day-out with my chicks, i don’t [...]

just when you thought…

just when you thought this would be the best trip ever, it turns out to be your worst nightmare just when you thought you had everything planned out, the worst disaster comes around just when you thought you know the person inside out, she surprises you with the worst thing ever just when you thought [...]

2. more than 10 people left church

(not to mention those that miraculously disappeared) and so the title says…. i think this is the 2nd biggest event for me in year 2010. there is J family (x4), R, D, CY, M&W, SK &AP So there you go…10 people. There are some other people who just stop coming. One used excuses since last [...]

6. stumble & fall, stand & fall (spiritually)

yes, that’s what i have been doing all year…. since end of year 2009, i stumbled and fell down real hard. year 2010, i vowed to stand up strong, but time after time i fall again. im ashamed of myself, but i hope that in 2011, i’ll be stronger than ever…probably stumble but not fall. [...]

nightmare

awake at 5am. i was screaming `mama….’ and cried badly. i’ ve never had such a vivid nightmare. right until now, 9.45am, i can still remember the details (not all though). scene 1 i was travelling with someone. a friend. we got abit moody because i read the map wrongly and we ended up somewhere [...]

Be lifted high

Sin and its ways grow old All of my heart turns to stone And I’m left with no strength to arise How You need to be lifted high Sin and its ways lead to pain Left here with hurt and with shame So no longer will I leave your side Jesus, you be lifted high [...]

emptiness

yes. emptiness. it is filling in my flat. i have been enjoying great fun and joyful company for the past few months that i have forgotten how cold and quiet it can be when u do not turn on ur speakers. earlier this year, i had my sister staying with me for about 5months, and [...]